7.21.2013

Criticism (AKA "The Bully")



No, this blog post is not about "kid bullies."  Sorry.
 
 
It is about adults...
specifically the backlash that I have received the past few weeks from fellow bloggers. 
 
I think that "bullying" is a pretty huge issue. 
No, I don't approve of it. 
Who would? 


So, when I am called a bully myself, on my blogs Facebook page.  I had to laugh.  Why was I called a bully?   Because I had written about our recent trip to Boston?  This person chose to read only some parts, and ignore the rest of the post.  I responded with: why was she reading my blog if she didn't like what I wrote about?  Why was she taking time out of her day to comment about it?  Maybe she should read all of the other stuff I had written about.  I pointed out, that I don't force anyone to read my blog, I don't send my blog to S's Ex wife, I never even mention the Ex by her name, if I wanted to be a bully, I would send posts directly to the Ex, or I would have said things to her face.

The comments that came out on that post, are nothing compared to the comments that I received on A Letter to My Future Step-Daughter. 

What to do, what to do about negative comments and feedback?  Laugh at them actually.


Any sort of feedback means that people are reading my blog, and if they hate it, they are maybe sharing it.  Alright.  And when people leave such nasty comments on my blog?  I promote that post even more!  And specifically, I promote that post by telling people to check out the post that made so many people mad...and it works.  So thanks for the advertising! 
But what really amuses me?  That people take time out of their days, to leave such ridiculous comments, most of the time "annonymously"!  If there is a blog, or blog post that I do not like, or do not agree with....I continue on my merry way.  There you go.  Bad comments, in my opinion, are a way for the commenter to start drama.  But hey, if that's what these commenters want to do, since they are so bored....that's their problem.  And they all claim that my life is empty???



What else has been happening?  How else have I received criticisms and censorship from the blogging world? 

About 2 months ago, I was deleted from a blogging group because one of the Admins didn't appreciate an ecard that I had posted on my blogs FB page concerning child support.  She even decided to comment on it.  But instead of saying something privately to me she commented about it on my FB page AND on the blogging group page!  Matuuuure.  And then, even though I hadn't posted that ecard on the blogging groups FB page...I was deleted from the group.  Awesome guidance and support from an experienced blogger.  My personal FB and my blogs FB are MY sites, where I can post what I choose.  Again, I do not make the Ex wife look at my FB page...if she does, that's her right, but I don't post things thinking that it's going to "hurt" her in any way. 

Just a few weeks ago, I was deleted from another blogging group!  This one I had to laugh about even more!  The Admin had endorsed my page on hers, then apparently some of her friends and family complained about my content.  So she finally actually went through my content and decided she didn't want to endorse me any more!  Ok.  But I had to email her to find out why!  She never even emailed me about it!  She informed me that I should take advice from more experienced writers, specifically her, because she had made so much money the past month, and that for me to make money I have to write about things that people are ok with reading.   Ummmmm....right. 

IF I was using this blog only as a means to make money....then I WOULD conform to blogging society, run only giveaways, and only write about sunshine and smiles.

BUT since I'm NOT, I refuse to change what I write about.



I find it so funny that people will only focus on the bad things that I write about.  Never mind the funny posts about my kiddos, all the wedding planning..... nahhhhhh I don't write about any of that.  These people only see that I occasionally write about things that the Ex does, and about the rough relationship that S has with his daughter with Ex.  What it comes down to though, is that some of the things that happen with Ex and K, are a part of our lives as well!  So yes, I will write about them, and I will tell you straight out my opinion on the matter because that is how I write, I don't hold anything back. 

There have been other instances this week, that have made me feel outcasted from the blogging community...a community made (mostly) of women who claim that they want to help other women, that this is all about helping other writers to gain recognition, and yes, make money.  But I won't talk about those instances, because I've already confronted those with who it happened.  I'm still saddened by it though.

I'm also sad that for some reason, there are so many "cliques" in the blogging community. 



For all of you out there who have supported me, and tell me how great my blog is?  Thank you so much!  I've even talked to some of them these past few weeks and they have supported me, laughed at those who have treated me the way they have, and told me to basically "chin up", that there will always be "haters", that any sort of publicity is good publicity....and they are right.


To all of you who claim that you don't like my blog, but continue to stalk it anyways?  Thank you!  You still raise my numbers and you're always good for a laugh!



 below:  something very interesting that I found on Healthy Living Blogs  that descibes to a "T" how people have been commenting on some of my blog posts lately and how I was treated by that first Admin that I talked about.....so who's the bully???


WHO IS A BLOGGER BULLY?
A Bully:

  • Berates someone for being outside the box they have created
  • Leaves snarky comments with an “anonymous” name because they’re too cowardly to face the fall out
  • Leaves snarky comments with their real name for things they would never say in person
  • Makes snarky comments in front of a group to embarrass someone – this also makes you an a**hole in case you are wondering.






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14 comments:

  1. The thing i love about blogging is the sense of community i feel with other bloggers. It makes me sad when i hear things like this. Another thing i love about blogging is that all blogs are different. Your content is different than mine and so on. If we were all blogging the same things how boring it would be!Ive received some negative comments in the past and i always just push through. I hope you do the same. Hang tough girl!

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  2. Wow that's just CRAZY!! I for one don't like bully's of any kind, and fortunatley haven't really experienced any problems with blogger bullies so I guess I'm lucky? lol. I really enjoyed reading your FULL post! lol. I've had a few people judge things I've posted (from my life before I was an Apostolic Pentecostal woman) without reading my whole post and that's always frustrating to me. I work SO hard to be open and honest and then when people leave rude or half-informed comments it's just frustrating!

    Vising you from the Clever Chicks Blog Hop.

    Helen
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Exercise Encouragement GROUP Blog

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    1. Oh yeah and about that whole sponsor thing...I've always been SUPER careful about the blogs I sponsor because that does refelct on me as a Christian and as a blogger. I always email the person & check out quite a bit of their blog before I do a swap because I don't want to deal with the judgemental people who comment saying things like they can't believe I sponsor such-and-such blog...so for people who do sponsor other blogs I say: check the blog out and don't be rude and drop them half way through something!! (Sorry that happened to you!)

      Helen

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  3. Sometimes blogging can feel a lot like the cliquey years of high school. That is the bad side.

    The good side are the communities that really do lift you up, and want to support you.

    A little more "treat others the way you would like to be treated" would go a long way in this world. It is sad that so many adults haven't realized this yet.

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    1. I guess I haven't really seen that side of blogging yet. I'm sorry you have though! Hopefully things will get better.

      Helen
      Blue Eyed beauty Blog
      Exercise Encouragement GROUP Blog

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  4. I have thought about blogging about blended families. I have had 10 years experience with trying to mash in a blended family with an ex wife that can be problematic. I am being nice. She thinks the same of me. We don't agree on much. The one thing we agree on is that we both love our children. (Although she would question why I use the term "our children" when referring to my husband's children from their marriage.) I am not an experienced blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but I have tackled difficult issues on my blogs. You have to take the personal out of it. YOu could have some really positive things to say that would help step moms. I am a step mom but I hate the word step. Anyway, gmail me and maybe we could do a series together. The experiences of two step moms. Maybe we could title it "we aren't the wicked witches." I could add to the title but to be successful you really need to take the personal out of it and share some things that you have learned. Then add back in the love. Just my two cents. My blog: http://mary-anderingcreatively.blogspot.com/

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  5. I say it's your blog, do what you want

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  6. Came across this post from the "Showing some love" hop and I'm so glad I did! My blog is all about trying to live peacefully and naturally and I was once accused of being a very sneaky Monsanto "plant" trying to "infiltrate the world of natural living mom bloggers" because I had the nerve to suggest that farmers must have SOME kind of rational reasoning for choosing GMO seed. It totally made me want to change my logo to a black helicopter! It is amazing what people will find to be offended about. Your blog seems really great. Keep doing what you're doing! :)

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  7. Your blog, your rules. Not everyone will write generic content. It's fully legitimate to use your blog to voice your concerns, experiences, opinions and more. It's too bad that some people take that so negatively!
    - Blogger virtual hug of support -

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  8. I really don't understand why people are so mean. I think it takes so much more effort to be mean and hateful to someone then to just be nice. I like your blog, and I loved what you had to say in this post! Im continuing to check our your blog and Im now following via Bloglovin and G+! :)

    Amanda @ Happily Ever After
    http://www.karlshappilyeverafter.blogspot.com/

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  9. Is sad that people are mean to each other. You have a right to say what you want and they just need to move on. If they don't like it, they shouldn't read it.

    http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/

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  10. I have trouble understanding why anyone would deliberately set out to hurt, humiliate or berate another human being. I wonder what they are trying to teach their children? Or maybe they aren't role models. In which case they may not care how they act.

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