smashed fingers are no fun

no. no they are not.

the other day i shut my left ring finger in the door as i was closing it.  my hand and brain went numb.  i thought i was going to be ok.

i wasnt.

in the next 2 seconds all feeling went rushing back into my finger and i literally squated down, hovering over my messed up hand thinking that would somehow make everything better. 

it didnt.

in the next 10 seconds i made my way back into the kitchen of the restaurant im working at and screamed my head off as i tried to hold ice onto my finger and everyone else in the kitchen is looking at me wondering when im going to pass out.  i almost did.  a couple of times.  while some people had to leave the room because they were having flashbacks of smashing their own fingers....and some people ran for bandaids while yelling at me to go sit down. 

the day after i smashed it

apparently i can handle having babies all damn day, but when i smash my finger i turn into a lightheaded, blubbering, wussy, mess

it swelled up pretty fast

thats unfortunate.

my main thought for the past week? besides moving plans? that i hope my children NEVER get their fingers smashed.  holy crap i wouldnt wish this pain on anyone (....well, maybe one person). changing diapers is interesting with my future gymnast daughter.  and for some reason i decided to "sword fight" with the dude a few days after i smashed my finger and he so conveniently hit my bad finger in the first few seconds.  im an idiot.  not because i was sword fighting with my son to begin with, but because i kept sword fighting with him!  shielding my left hand like i was grievously wounded.  but thanksfully, S. knows my pain and has been very sympathetic.   I would have called him a "dumbass" if he had come home from work with a smashed finger....S. pointed this fact out to me, but didnt call me a "dumbass."  i appreciate his restraint.

my finger has the biggest blood blister under the nail, which is only getting worse by the day.  for a few days there, my finger was completely numb...along with my middle and pinky finger...interesting.  now the nail is starting to lift and it is such a dark color that occasionally i forget (somehow) that i smashed my finger, and i see a dark purple color out of the corner of my eye and i think "why did i paint that fingernail?  oh right. i didnt."  i keep hiting the nail (packing up my house dosnt help) and the feeling is definitely back in my finger.  thats good.

and my only hope is that the nail will grow back after it falls off.

and ew.

or im going to have to wear my wedding ring on a different finger. :P


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a "new" new years eve? aka "progress"

This blog is a few months in the making...

(don't be distracted by my sons birthday presents here, look at that belly!  This was about 2 weeks before my daughter was born)

Just like everyone does, I made quite a few new years resolutions, and well, like just about everyone I know, it took a while for me to START those resolutions.  This year, like quite a few years in the past, one of my resolutions was to lose weight.  But not just to lose weight, but to TONE up my body.   I've never had a lot of weight on me, but I've also never been one to be toned. So, I decided (and maybe because I was going to be turning 30) that this was going to be the year that I finally got a toned body.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn't gain an extraordinary amount of weight (I think I was around 150 at the end there...), and for some reason it automatically came off (don't ask me how, because I dont know, it was the same with my son) but I still wanted to finally get the body that I've wanted for so long.

Fast forward 4 or so months...and I decided i had better get started on doing this.

When I started working out in the beginning of April, my weight was fluxuating between 120 and 119, pretty good in my opinion.  but like I said, I wanted to be more toned, and I knew that muscle would weigh more than fat...so I actually put my goal weight at 113, because I weighed about 115 through high school.  One of my motivators through the beginning of my working out schedule?  Pinterest.  Go ahead and laugh.  But honestly there are so many workouts and motivational things on that site that its almost impossible to NOT want to work out. 

(It's not so much the picture that I use as motivation, but the saying, because I do want to be a "fit mama" and I love that Dude will do "jumping jacks" and "crunches" with me, and will do stretches with me before I go for a run!)

I admit, I started out pretty slow...working out about 2 or 3 mornings/days a week...with ambitions to add in more workouts.  Lets be honest, that didn't exactly happen, but I did up my work outs to 4 or 5 mornings a week.   Then I started adding in certain diet foods, eating very consciously, taking vitamins and supplements.  Yes, I started to see a very signifigant change.  When S. told me that he was definitely seeing a change too, my encouragement and enthusiasm raised considerably!  I started taking my weight and measurements every week (on the same day and time) and wrote my weight on my bathroom mirror as a constant reminder and as motivation, like this pin I found on Pinterest.

Then, one week, I started eating only "water" foods such as watermelon, cucumber, and celery, and making sure to drink AT LEAST 60 ounces of water a day.  In 3 days, I shed about 5 pounds of water weight!  Then like a fool, I stopped...because that's life sometimes.  But thankfully I only gained back a few pounds, and when I realized how fast the weight came back, I made a commitment to drink a minimum of 45 ounces of water a day, but always working towards 90 ounces of water a day.  I won't lie, its almost like I'm prego again....I feel like our toilet paper budget has gone up....regardless, it works.  I've lightened up on eating only watermelon, cukes, and celery for every meal (seriously, it's not good for you for a long period of time), and now most of the time, these things are my snacks for the day and they can always be found in my fridge. 

The past month or so, for whatever reason, apparently my body has subconsciously decided that I need a break.  My workouts? Well, they're happening about 2 to 3 times a week now. and I'm drinking around 30 ounces of water a day....but, my weight is now fluxuating between 113 and 114!!!   So, in the past 6 months, I've been able to successfully shed 6 pounds of fat for muscle!  My goal weight has now lowered to 110 and I've been promised by S. that if I make it to my goal weight (and keep it off of course ) that he would buy me the sleeve that I've been desiring for so long.  It's good to have something to work towards.  It's also awesome when so many people have told me they see a change in me too, my mom commented that she has seen me "scrawny" a few times in my life and she's happy to see me losing weight in a healthy way now.

So, when I actually realized the other day that I've been slacking some, I'm back on the workout wagon.  More water, more workouts, better about my meals with my crazy schedules lately (regular meals help with metabolism!!) and I'm determined to lose those last few pounds before christmas!!

(Sorry I don't have a better "before" picture for you, but I don't take a lot of pictures of myself in my underwear....that I would post online.  This was about one week after my daughter was born in November 2011...I'd say mayyybeeee 125 pounds or so?)

(Taken today, Sept. 19, 2012 at 114.8 pounds)

(from the front)

So there you have it, my progess for the last 6 months.  If you're interested at all, this is my Pinterest board of workouts that I've done  and I look forward to putting another progress blog up in about 6 months!
PS. Let's get real here...you want to know the real reason I've been working out?  Here you go...

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when S. and i moved back to maine in march of 2010, probably the event that seriously made us stop in our tracks and then burst out laughing.....was seeing a particular girl in the local walmart.

her resemblance to S.s ex wife was UNcanny. right down to the sweatpants, muffin top, thick black eyeliner, and then her daughter who actually looks A LOT like K.

does the ex have a doppelganger?  did the ex's (real) dad spend any time in maine?  does the ex have (another) sister that she dosnt even know about?  of course we even wondered if the ex had MOVED to maine!! god you have no idea how much we laughed at this!!  then we started seeing her at the OB office because she was pregnant at the same time i was....im pretty sure that she started to get really pissed when it was so obvious that we were choking back laughter every time we ran into her.

where does this story lead?  well, S. recently started working with the doppelgangers husband.  S. thought he looked familiar...then saw pictures that this guy had in his workspace....then asked this guy about it.  the guy says to S. "yeah, we knew you were laughing at us"  and S. explained why of course....and said that we should all hang out, especially since their kids are right around dudes and princess' age.  the guys reaction?  he was favorable....the doppelganger, was NOT.  im not going to repeat all of the things that ive heard about this girl, because i have never actually met her myself to confirm or disprove what ive heard.....lets just say, shes more like the ex than just by her looks.  and by this i mean bitchy and crazy. 

although i was not too enthusiastic about hanging out with someone as ugly as S.s ex, it would have been nice for the kids. but now from what ive heard about her...i dont want my kids around her.  just like i wont have my kids around the ex.

imagine that. a doppelganger in more ways than one.


A Crazy 72 Hours....

I don't know how this happens, but it seems like when ONE weird thing happens some days...the next few days are filled with the most ridiculously strange bullcrap occurances.

This is what my past few days have been like:

- Dude starts throwing up right as I'm about to leave for work. This sucks and I feel like an a**hole because I have to leave....I promise him to try and get off work early. 
- I come home early, but I am on call for the night. 
- Princess is also a snot faucet by this point and the house is SO humid from the humidifier running in our kitchen that I feel like I'm entering jungle warfare as soon as I enter the house.
- I spend a few hours taking showers with the kids. The steam resulting from the bathroom door being closed during these showers is having marvelous effects on my hair.

- I get called back into work for about an hour, even with my wicked awesome hair.

Sunday night:
- Princess wakes up at approximately 2am. I have to "sway" her back to sleep while standing in the kitchen (the darkest part of the apartment).  It takes her a ridiculously long time to fall asleep.
-I stupidly decide to refill the humidifier in the kids room but my grainy sleep deprived eyes interfere and I end up spilling old humidifier water all over the kitchen floor.

- Wake up at 4am to see S. off to work.
- Spend the morning wiping up snot and taking more steamy baths and showers.
- Get ready for work.
- Pack up the sick kiddos to drop them off with my mom.
- While driving to moms, I have the most horrible feeling that I'm FORGETTING something....something important.  This is the worst feeling ever and I spend the next half hour mentally going over all of the appliances in my house and trying to remember if I locked the door.
- While at my moms house, I eat some ham steak which results in the most annoying, huge piece of ham stuck in my back teeth that I try to get out for the next 4 hours or so.
- Get to work, find out I'm not only early, I'm freaking an hour and a half earlyW.T.F?!?!  I could have sworn up, down, sideways and spinning around in circles that my shift started at 3pm...nope.  awesome.
- My underwear is riding up my ass.
- I'm having one of those days where my hair is annoying the hell out of me because it's not doing what I want it to.  Probably from all of the humidity in my house....
- The night wasn't too busy.
- I go home.

Monday night:
- Princess wakes up so many times and needs to be "swayed" to sleep, that I've forgotten the number.

- Wake up at 4am to see S. off to work.
- The house is cold because apparently it's already October without me noticing and the nights are just above freezing and this is when S. and I realize that there is something wrong with our heater so it won't turn on.
- After putting more blankets on the kiddos, I go back to sleep on the couch, wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt and underneath a blanket.
- Grocery shopping, work from home, go for a walk with the kids.....dishes, normal SAHM stuff. 
- Call the landlord to come fix our freaking heater.
- While out in town picking up groceries, I'm unable to pick up my daughters prescription formula because our healthcare is giving me the freaking runaround. 

- Dude watches from the backseat of the truck as I'm yelling at WIC, the doctors office, the pharmacy, and basically anyone that will listen, that they had better figure out what the hell is going on and get my daughter her formula. 
- Tell Dude I'm about to lose my freaking cool because people are making mama really mad.
- Apologize to Dude for yelling and tell him that I'm not mad at him.
- Get home, and as I'm making lunch for Dude I also make more phone calls, one of which is to my mom.  During this phone call, I'm trying to convince Dude to eat his lunch while swearing under my breath about the cat throwing up on the kitchen floor while trying to tell my mom that we set an appointment to see the house.
- S gets home and it's an understatement when I say I was really happy to see him!

- Dude tells Daddy that Mama is going to lose her cool and that she was yelling at the doctor.  S. said it was about time that I started yelling at those people.
- Landlord shows up,  rips apart the heater (while I'm cooking supper). Amazingly, he can't fix the heater yet because he needs to research the problem.
- We start pulling out the kids winter pajamas.
- Ate the freaking awesome supper I cooked (It was Pinterest inspired, check it out here ).

the side dish that we had with cornflake chicken, SO yummy!

- Fell into bed like it was going out of style.

AND, Princess was only awake ONCE last night. so, I'm hoping I can turn off the humidifier and not have Vicks scented hands all day.

There you have it....my past almost 72 hours.  Don't judge me because of the swearing and yelling.    But when it comes down to it....my kids are healthy (except for the snotty noses), I have a loving Fiance who frequently changed diapers, wiped noses, also rocked Princess, played with Dude, picked up meds, and rubbed my back for me.  And even though some days are crazy and events seem to stack up on each other, there were still a million smiles and laughs and hugs and kisses and we're so ridiculously happy that its crazy!