i almost threw up while writing this one

this blog is about the death of a 2.5 month old baby and will be somewhat explicit.  if you feel you will have any problems while reading this, you should stop now. 

yes, it is the end of may, obviously i have had problems with keeping up my resolve to write more often, sue me.  and honestly, it has taken me some time to write this blog because it literally makes me sick to my stomach just thinking of this man and what he did.

at the beginning of may, as i was sitting down to supper with S. and dude eating sandwiches and watching the news, a horrible, horrible story came on....and while listening, i literally put my sandwich down and almost had to run to the bathroom before i threw up all over the rug.  it was close.  no, i didnt throw up, but then i almost burst into tears..... i couldnt finish my supper to say the least.  and i hugged my kids extra that night, and every day and night since i heard about this.

there was a man, whos girlfriend had recently given birth to their twin babies.  this man was having problems adjusting to parenthood, and one day, he became frustrated because one of the twins wouldnt stop crying. so, in anger, the man picked this 2.5 month old baby up by his head, squeezed his head, then threw him into a nearby chair, hearing the babys neck snap as he landed.

if i saw this man in person, i wouldnt even ask him what the fuck was going through his head.  i would just fucking tear him apart and spit on him.  literally.

this poor, defenseless, small angel, had severe brain damage, and died in the hospital a few days later.

if you would like more information, here is a link:


my heart is breaking as im writing this, and i want to bawl, and throw up.

how. the. fuck. can any person do something so fucking heinous??
 (yes, i do apoligize for my stronger than usual language, but i feel this situation warants a lot of swearing.)

i understand that some people have a hard time adjusting to parenthood.  i know how trying it can be.  i know that somedays i want to go crazy from hearing "right ma?"  a million times from my son.  yes S. and i are ridiculously tired somedays, yes we are frustrated somedays and we may yell at dude, or spank him when he is being completely out of line. but, we also go to great lengths to protect our children and make sure that they are happy and tickled often and as happy as we can possibly make them.  there are times (just about every night actually) that i stare at my babies just to make sure that they are still breathing because it is my worst fear that something will ever happen to them. 

how can any person resort to something so disgusting as to kill their own child??

its not only women who can suffer from post partum depression, yes men can have it too.  having a baby is a huge change.  but if there is any one out there who is feeling so frustrated that they are thinking about hurting someone so small, they need to seek immediate help.  there are so many places that will give you help, thats what theyre there for.  ladies, you need to be attentive to the man in your life, whether he is the father of your child(ren) or not, and see how he handles these situations....and the same goes for men.  they need to pay attention to how women are handling new parenthood because sadly, women sometimes go to these lengths also.  at this point, even though my heart breaks for the mother of this baby, i also blame her.  this man had also at one point fractured the same babys arm while changing his diaper because he was frustrated that the baby wasnt "cooperating."  um.  really?  how did the mother not see at this point that drastic measures had to be taken? 

parents need to remember something....when you look at your child, one of the first things that should always go through your mind is...."he/she is so small, so fragile." 

we may feel our kids are rough and tumble when they reach a certain age, but they are still smaller than us.

there is something that my parents and grandparents always say....and even though sometimes when im tired and frustrated its annoying to hear it again, i know deep down that they are right......"a baby crying is a good thing, because it means its alive and healthy."  they are right.  your child is the most amazing gift you could ever receive.  i was hugging my son before bed tonight and as i was smelling him all sunshine and sunscreen and peanut butter, all i coud think was, "you are the most amazing thing in the world."   as i play with my daughter, who just cut her first tooth and smiles back at me with my smile and smells like the nasty formula smell all i can think is "you are the most amazing thing in the world." 

how can any parent not feel the same way? 

i think i may have to stop writing, before i go on for hours and hours about children and how they should be treated with love and respect and handled like the precious cargo they are. 

this man, however, this man who killed his own son?  he is a piece of shit.  i honestly hope he dies in prison, and rots for eternity in hell.  there are very few things i will make such a strong statement about, so i hope that you who know me personally, will see how strongly i feel about this subject.

go hug your babies extra tonight, and every day from now on and thank whatever god you want that you were able to receive such an amazing gift.  and remember this when they cry, or theyre annoying, or youre tired....they are smaller than you and they are all of the best parts of you. 

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