i find it annoying when my internet is running slow and it takes FOREVer to download pics to my facebook....ive got some good ones ;)

S. and i found out the other day that k. had her 5 year doctors appointment....and we didnt find out from his ex wife.  then when S. called wednesday night, k. refused to talk to him....and the ex wife wasnt even home!!  way to go, take your kid to the doctor, then dont even stay home with her.  S. called k. again last night and she actually talked to him...but there was still no mention of the doctor until S. brought it up!! then all he was told was k.s weight and height....way to go keeping k.s father informed of her health.  you say you want him involved in her life?  i dont see proof of that.

S. mentioned the other night how much he regrets ever marrying his ex wife....hell, he regrets ever meeting her.  i gotta say, i dont blame him. 

im really excited to watch the new season of project runway!!  i dvred the first show last night!!!!

S. and i have been watching americas got talent....yes, i actually just wrote that.  its really funny!! :D  but were really mad that captain splash made it through to the semi finals....stupid.

my cat seriously just stole a bite of my croissant......what a crazy cat.

i need to schedule a hair cut for dude!!  especially since were going to have some family pics taken soon :D


a late lunch...

yes, im just now settling down to have lunch (its 3!!)  but thats ok :)  i was running errands, and dude stayed with my nana for a few hours and S. had lunch with them :)  sooooo im having some chicken alfredo yummy :D

i got some new clothes for dude todayyyyy!!! :D

dudes taking a nap....which is cute and awesome....but its weird when he sleeps with his eyes open!!  LOL i now understand why S. thinks its so creepy when i do it LOL :D

i am constantly amazed at how awesome and funny and smart and handsome dude is...i know im a "gushing" mom, but what mom isnt??  i dont know what S. and i ever did to deserve such an awesome kid, but were so blessed to have him in our lives <3

watching the news this morning, i saw a new segment about the newest trend with new moms..."mommyrexia"  how ridiculous.  apparently moms are so inundated with magazines featuring pictures of movie stars and models who look amazing only weeks after having their babies, that moms now feel the need to not eat during their pregnancies and to work out the entire time.  ridiculous.  there is absolutely Nothing wrong with being a consciously healthy eater, but to starve yourself so that the only part of you that is big is your belly is stupid and obviously harmful to your baby (obviously if that is your body type, this dosnt apply to you) and of course working out during pregnancy is a healthy thing, but if you never exercised before, why start now??  so many woman seem to forget that stars and models have nannies who watch their kids for them so they can work out for hours a day, and a dietician, and a personal cook.....who in the real world can afford that??  (well, maybe the trainer, but definately not all of us can afford all that)  there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body, youre supposed to gain 25 to 35 pounds on average.....its something you should be proud of, this is your child!!  there is nothing wrong with it taking a year or so to get back to your original weight....  now, dont get me wrong, do i have issues with my body?  yes.  am i self conscious about it? yeah sometimes. did i lose a ridiculous amount of weight after damien was born? yes (i admit, it was awesome :)  i weighed less than i did in high school) ..... but i also understand "airbrushing"  and these woman have free time to get skinny in a month after theyve had their baby. 

meanwhile....this chilcken alfredo is rockin LOL


a little background info.....

soooooo...im finding it more and more hilarious that S.' ex wife is continuously blaming ME for all of their problems....and S. is finding this funny too. just so you know, we think its interesting that she has moved from: she is not to blame, S is....to I am the one to blame, and S. and her still get along and have a friendship.  she thinks that I am the one causing fights....um, no.  S. knows how he feels about certain things and he says what he wants about them.

so here is some information for you about mine and S.' relationship and how it began....

S. deployed to iraq in feb. 2008.....a few short weeks later, his (then) wife cheated on him, and SHE told HIM that she wanted a divorce.  (didnt you say that you "supported" him and his military life??  but thats besides the point)  in april, the 23rd to be exact, because thats our anniversary, i found S. on myspace (lol, oh myspace) and i friend requested him because, honestly, i love a man in uniform, and i just wanted to check out some hot pics.  but i started reading his blogs about how the shit hit the fan between him and her, and i told him that i hoped things had worked out, because i hate hate hate the thought of a woman cheating on a man while hes deployed.  he told me what had happened between them, and that they had decided to get a divorce when he got home (obviously it couldnt happen while he was deployed,)  S. and i started talking....all. the. time.  hundreds of emails a day, we started talking on the phone a week later.....on my birthday he sent me a dozen roses....we told each other we were falling in love with each other.  i knew that he wanted nothing to do with his wife, that they had decided to go through with the divorce as soon as he got home.  i knew that they considered themselves "seperated" and she had already started seeing someone else.  S. told me he wanted to take things slow because his last relationship had been so f*cked up, i agreed, i wanted the same thing. but when two people are made for each other, this is a hard thing to follow.  we talked all the time, on the phone, emails, we were good friends, and called each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"  but we were also realistic about the situation knowing that we might hate each other when we finally met in person LOL sean asked me to marry him on may 20, 2008, i of course said yes it was funny, i was at work and so stupidly happy, i couldnt stop smiling! like i said, we knew that we loved each other!!  but again, we knew we had to be realistic about everything.

when S. came home, he came to NY to meet me for the first time, and it truly was love at first sight.  i knew that he had stayed at his (then) wifes house when he got home, i knew that he had completely f*cked with her head and told her he wanted to get back together with her and be a family again.  he did this because of all the shit she had put him through.  messed up? yeah...but she deserved it. S. knew what he had waiting for him in NY, me, who loved him, and he wasnt going to mess that up.  we spent 3 awesome weeks together.  he went back to NC.....i moved down there a few weeks later.  we wanted to be together, that was all there was to it.

S. proposed to me officially oct 31, a ring, the whole nine yards.  of course i accepted...we knew we just had to wait for his divorce to be finalized (they had to be seperated a year before this could happen according to NC law), a few months later, we made the conscious decision to get pregnant.  yes, i said conscious decision.  dude is HIS son, and was not a mistake.  S. did not want to marry me because i was pregnant.  he did not decide to stay with me because i was pregnant. 

a few months later, S. deployed to iraq again, and he and i went through some major shit, it sucked, life sucked, i admit it.  but you know what?  S. and i were grown ups about it, and we worked through our problems!!  thats what you do when you love someone...you dont make a life changing decision (divorce) and then try to change your mind a few months later.....S. and i are still working through shit yes, but we have an awesome relationship, a grown up relationship, we love each other, and we have a great life together, and an awesome family.  he is a loving fiance and a fabulous father.

i am not afraid of anyone or anything ruining mine and S.' and dudes life together.  you know why?  because with what weve been through, we can get through anything.  S. loves me, loves dude, loves our life.  he hates, hates, hates his ex wife, thinks that shes a horrible person, and a horrible mother.  S. is civil on the phone because he knows it will benefit his relationship with his daughter to do so.  S. has thoroughly moved on with his life because he knows that he has an infinately better woman in his life now than he did then, he laughed outright when she begged him last fall to come back to her. 

S.' ex wife seems to think that because he married her as soon as she got pregnant, that he loved her more than he could ever love me.  she thinks that S. is with me because he "thinks" that damien is his son.  first, dude IS his son, any idiot could look at pictures and know that. shes just being stubborn and not admitting it to herself.  second, S. knows i would not cheat on him. third, you obviously dont know S. very well if you think he would stay with someone because he "thinks" the child is his!!!  and fourth......S. and i have now been together, for 3 years and 3 months.  S. and his ex wife were technically married forrrrr....3 years 2 months (?)  and 1 year and 4 months of that....they were seperated!!!  and he was living with me!!  and she was dating multiple guys!!!  S. and i have been engaged practically the entire time of the 3 years weve been together!!  why havent we had the wedding yet??  thats not important....its based on money and the fact that we want to do it ONCE and big :)  what IS important, is that we love each other, we made this decision together, end of story. 

so, for everyone out there, I am not the cause of S. not going back to his ex wife.  S. moved on with his life, and to a better woman, because his (then) wife was a cheater. 

i am not the one causing arguments, you began all of this when you couldnt keep your legs closed for 7 months...hell you didnt even last ONE month.  fess up to what you did.  fess up to the fact that youre the one that f*cked it all up, YOU are the reason that your daughter dosnt have her father around, YOU are the reason that your daughters life is messed up, YOU are the reason that S. and his daughter dont have a good relationship.  stop blaming other people for everything.  start telling your daughter the truth, or else shes just going to hear it from other people as soon as she gets older.  why would you let a 5 year old think that dude is the reason that she dosnt have her father around??  if she was blaming YOU, youd be trying to change her "opinion" wouldnt you??  dude is not at fault, it is your responsibility as a mother to guide your childs opinions.  yes she has the right to form her own, but to let her blame a baby is ridiculous.


nobody can eat 50 eggs.

i just had THE yummiest sandwich for lunch :D  man it was so good!  turkey, cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and pickle on a wrap...yup...

dude however, is sleeping throoouuuugh lunch LOL  thats what happens when we have playgroup in the morning!  im sure he'll wake up in a couple of hours, and ill make him a sandwich too :)

we had such a great weekend!!

saturday S. took dude fishing all afternoon, and dude caught ANOTHER fish.....i admit, im jealous!  then saturday night S. watched cool hand luke with me, it was his first time watching it, ive been telling him for a long time how good it is...he now agrees LOL :)  then sunday afternoon S. and i blew up the pool we got for dude (yes, ourselves, because we couldnt find our air pump...it didnt take as long as we thought it would)  but then it took us FOR.EV.ER to fill it up because we dont have a hose LOL  i filled up buckets, S. poured them in....but the excitement on dudes face was worth it :)  the weather outside was perfect for it, he would get in, then run around the yard, then repeat lol  and yes, S. sat in the pool with him hehehe :D  i watered and worked on the garden, and S. got me some more stakes for our tomato plants (which are doing AWEsome) thennnnnnn dude passed out from all the hardcore playing, so while he took a nap, i made potato salad, and S. cooked steaks on the grill yummeeeeeee, and we ate supper and then played until bedtime....dude is now insistent that either S. or i ride his trike....i refuse to anymore lol, but S. did!! :D 

i woke up this morning, with one of my toes all messed up....like i broke it or something.  but i cant remember what happened to it and thats frustrating LOL  and just so everyone knows, im pretty sure this is the first time ive woken up and wondered what happened to my toe and i WASNT drunk the night before LOL  (S. is convinced that i hurt it while kicking him last night in bed.....i disagree.)

im gonna make apple crisp later :D

S. and i got this program for dude called "your baby can read"  (im sure everyones heard of it, its all over infomercials) and so far its really cool and dude loves it :)  he says so many words, and will speak in sentences, its crazy!!  i love how smart he is, and he amazes me every day :D  <3

i love how S. tells me every single day how beautiful i am <3

i find it annoying that im cold when its 80 degrees out.....that damn humidity that we had last week screwed everything up!!

oooohhhhhh weve got lots of things in the works :D  we'll be finding out soon how things go!!

i love how dude will sleep like me one night, and the next night, sleep like S. 

and i also love how everyone smiles when they see dude and S. walking together, holding hands, wearing similar sunglasses, because they look SO MUCH ALIKE!! 

dudes wicked cute saying "hi" to EVERYONE at the grocery store whenever we go :)  and i cant wait for him to wake up so he can color the picture i got for him at the bank for the coloring contest....the bank is having a customer appreciation day this friday and theyre going to have a firetruck there!!  yeahhhhhh were gonna have to go :D 

and a side note for anyone in the area.....has everyone checked out the new baking/cooking store where the old strawberry fields used to be?  its wicked cool and im excited to have a baking and cooking store in the area!!  its callllllllled...."mixed up"  check it out!!


What a Crazy, Pyscho, Stupid Little Girl!!!

get this.  while S., dude, and i are out this afternoon, we get a call on our cell phone from his ex wife.  S. answered, and told his ex wife that unless it was k. that wanted to talk, he was busy.  she said she wanted to talk about a way for k. to come up and see S. (this has been a topic of conversation that has caused arguments for months and months now by the way.)  so, S. of course listened, because of course he wants to see his daughter.

the ex wife said that she would bring k. up here for a week, as long as BOTH k. and the ex wife could stay at OUR APARTMENT!!!!  for those of you keeping track, this is the SECOND time that S.' ex wife has mentioned this possibility in the passstttt......7? 8? months. (yeah the first time it came up, was right after she begged him to come back to her) IS SHE FRIGGEN BRAIN DEAD????  S. of course told her that we would NOT be comfortable with this decision!!!!  WHY WHY WHY would S. AND I want that crazy b*tch in our house???? 

THEN she told S. that he would ALSO have to pay for the $400 in gas money, and add another $200 and change on top of that so they could stay in a hotel on the way up and the way down.....HAVE YOU LOST YOUR  DAMN MIND?????    S. is already paying a ridiculous amount of child support EVERY month, that should be used to pay for these vacations!!!  there IS NO WAY WHATSOEVER that a 5 year old little girl needs ALLLLLLL the child support money that S. is spending every month to survive!!!  is it his fault that you spend the money on ridiculous things? NO.  is it up to him to pay for YOUR hotel so he can see his little girl? NO.  is he sending this money so you can go out to dinner every other night of the week? NO. 

you have continuously made it clear that k. wants nothing to do with me or dude....so why are you suddenly gungho to bring her to our house?  why would you put her in that position?  k. wouldnt even spend any time with S. because 1. he would be working all week because he cant take time off since he has to pay so much child support and 2. K. would be hanging on you the whole time.  you would never give her the chance to be alone with S, and me and dude.  you would insist that you, S., and k. do everything alone....why would S. do that to his family??? (family being ME AND DUDE)  another point....WHY THE HELL WOULD I LET YOU BE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS MY SON YOU CRAZY ASS B*TCH??????  

get this through your head.  S. wants NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.  he has made this very, very clear.  give it up.  youre dating someone else.  dont you think this guy would have something to say about you spending the week at your ex husbands house?  i dont care how long youve been dating someone...he would.  at the very least hed be mad he lost his free babysitter for a week LOL!  you begged S. to come back to you. he straight up laughed at you.  you have asked S. to come down to NC and stay in your house, that he could stay there, but that dude and i would not be allowed near the house, HE SAID NO.  S. would LOVE to see k., but not if it means you would be in our business the WHOLE time.

S. and i have our own finances to be considered in all of this.  we have bills too.  loans, payments, etc etc.  we dont live with our grandparents who pay our bills.  if you want k. to come see her father, use the fucking child support hes been paying, its supposed to be used for k. anyway.  or ask your freaking grandmother to pay for the trip.  she pays for all your other friggen trips, she should pay for this one too.

and in the meantime, fucking smarten up.

after that, S, dude and i went out to lunch, laughing the whole time :)  and were having a GREAT afternoon!!! :D 

cant wait for this afternoon!!!

weve got a lot of stuff going on, and one major thing that were really excited about!!

it was already 80 degrees at 4am today.
thats brutal. 
were totally going to go buy more fans this afternoon along with everything else were doing LOL

S.' ex wife now seems to think that introducing tons of guys to her daughter is not only OK, but that she should now introduce whole new families to k.!! thats right, the new guy that shes dating, has a daughter who is k.s age and goes to school with k..  way to go stopping the jealousy.  and NOW, when you break up with this guy, youre not going to just screw up k. by having her lose another father figure, shes also going to lose a friend and a "sister".  how awkward is that going to be when you have to tell her that she cant hang out with this little girl anymore because you and her father dont get a long??  way to go.

i find it ridiculous that S. has to constantly ask his ex wife to make sure that k. is available to talk on the phone....and his ex wife never gets it through her thick skull.  the other day S. had to call before 6pm so he could talk to his daughter before his ex wifes new boyfriend and his daughter showed up.  but i do think its pretty funny that the ex wifes new boyfriend was able to find free baby sitting so easy LOL thats right, the ex wife is watching his kid for him (overnight) while hes at work LOL  wow.  k. sure is getting a lot of alone time with you since you quit your job LOL.  way to go.

im thinking im also going to get some more of those vacuum storage bags today....they work AWESOME and ive got lots of stuff that i need to store away.

dudes wicked cute hanging out in his diaper all day :D

i really really really miss sushi...like, good sushi, and would kill for a spicy crunchy tuna roll!!

i cant wait to get some new shirts and boots for dude today :)

the other day, he was holding pieces of his steak out to galore (our cat...think the name through...there you go...) saying"num num....no."  then hed eat it! LOL it was hysterical!  its nice that hes asking the cat if she wants it before he stuffs it in his own mouth HAHAHA

and earlier in the day, we were outside and he was playing with the neighbors cat, holding a stick out to it, saying "num num".....  as i was trying to explain to him that cats dont eat sticks, the cat started chewing on the stick.  imagine that.

we have string beans in our garden!!!  very tiny of course, but well be able to eat them soon!!

i cant wait to go to the day spa soon!! :D

and the blueberry festival is in a couple of weeks! :)

gotta get going :)  im actually going to finish watching red riding hood before we leave so we can return our movies and get more :)  and im going to work on my strategy to convince S. that we should go out to lunch today :) LOL <3  hes so good to me <3

an example:
the fact that i can barely see out my kitchen sink window because the window sill is full of vases of flowers that he always picks for me whenever he goes outside <3


some like it hot.......

but maybe not this friggen hot!!!  LOL

S. and i both agree, that our son has the best smile that either one of us has ever seen

were thinking of pawning that ring that has no signifigance to anyone and adding it to dudes account.  and now that i have an absolutly beautiful ring that S. personally designed for me, and gave to me when he got home from iraq, why do we need that other one around??

shark attacks off the coast of NC?? hmmmm.......

we love watching dude and laughing at him as he completely manhandles big objects and carries them across the room ex: his rocking moose and huge dinosaur!!

and its funny that hes self-sufficient enough to kiss his own "boo boos"  :D  but im sure ill be needed to do this at some point

S. is going to take dude fishing again this weekend :) <3

im glad i dont have to worry about cleaning, and dishes, and laundry..... :)  and S. helps out so much around the house its awesome!!

nice cool kiwi with breakfast this morning??  oh yeah, we had some:)  dude loved it!!  but then again, he eats anything...you should have seen him chow down his steak that S. cooked for him and broccoli and cauliflower last night!!

i find it really sad when people dont see how theyre completely ruining their lives, and more importantly,
ruining the lives of their families.....
ex. S.' ex wife and what shes doing to her own daughter.


dont worry, youll all know the full story soon LOL

so, S. always makes fun of me for watching the show, "teen mom" and "16 and pregnant".....but thats ok....besides the fast that theyre kinda like soap operas, it also reminds me that i havent totally screwed up my life!!  is that weird? twisted? maybe, but it does.  i graduated high school, graduated college, made something of myself, and had a lot of fun before i settled into family life...but then again, all i have to do is look at S.' ex wife to realize yet again, for the hundreth time that day, that my life is awesome and i have a great man, a great child, and an awesome support system in my life.

we watched  "rango" the other day, and although i actually didnt care for it AT ALL, it was really cute listening to dude shout "RANGO" at the top of his lungs :D

i love waking up in the morning and hearing the birds singing through the open window <3

i did lots of baking the other day even though it was HOT!!  and the peanut butter cookies i made were a HUGE hit with the guys :)  and the banana bread was wicked too :)   

im vaguely concerned that i have an infected tick bite.....cant wait to go to the doctors today!!

our garden is coming along awesome :)  i LOVE the smell of our tomato plants and weve got 5 small green tomatoes!! 

i really really really want a jeep, i always have, and now that im looking at vehicles all the time, i want one even more!! buuuutttttt im not sure if thats logical.....then again, my parents had one when i was younger, my brother and i would ride in the back seat wearing swimming goggles to keep the wind out of our eyes, swear to god.. ahhhh memories LOL

so, S. can call k. on sundays and wednesdays....the past few times that hes called on those days, k. has refused to talk to him because shes distracted...last wednesday, she took the ex wifes phone (because she has no control over her 5 year old and cant tell her "no") and was playing games on it instead of talking, and last sunday, k. had a friend over during the time that shes supposed to be talking to S.!!  S. talked to his ex wife and asked her nicely, "why are you constantly letting k. be distracted on my days?  why didnt you just call me earlier and tell me shed have a friend over and i could call at a different time"  her response?  "my life dosnt revolve around you anymore.  i forgot."  yeah no shit your life dosnt revolve around S., it revolves around another guy now dosnt it?  but you CLAIM that your life revolves around k., so make sure she can build on her relationship with her father!  you tell S. that its HIS responsibility that this happens...no its up to BOTH of you, and S. has been doing his part by calling consistently!  but its pretty bad when he calls on random days, like last friday, and k. says to him, "i dont want to talk to you, its not a talking day"  hmmm...whered she learn that from?  im thinking from her mother, but thats just me. 

i have so many plans for this fall and winter constantly running through my head that its hard to keep track of it all and im distracted easily!!!  LOL :D  theres going to be A LOT going on!!!!
<3 <3 <3

i love how dude says "4 wheeler" now :D  hes so talkative that its crazy and surprising and so much fun!! 

S. really wants to get a dog...ive been saying no for a long time, but im starting to think it might be a good idea.

i wish the number that we keep trying to call for the apartment for rent, wasnt always "busy" and that i could get a hold of someone to talk to them about the apartment!!

life is going so good for all of us right now :D  i wish i could write about all of the stuff going on, but dont worry, i will soon!!


this morning.....

its already humid out...UGH, and thats annoying because i had planned on doing some baking today....

we had such and awesome weekend!!!  dude went fishing with my parents, and actually caught a fish!!  his first one!  how cool is that??  now, my not yet 2 year old son has officially caught more fish than i ever have!!  S. and i went to see transformers 3 which was actually really good in 3D.....i know, i know, i know, youre probably all wondering WHY we didnt go see the last Harry Potter movie....but its because transformers 3 came out first, and S. has always really good about making sure i see the Harry Potter movies in theatre, so i know hell make sure it happens this time too :)  we picked our first vegetable from our garden, a radish, that was EXTRAordinarily peppery, but it was still cool because this is the first garden that S. and i have ever done :)  now we have hope that we can ACTually do this LOL  we went out to lunch at a local bar and played a couple games of pool too :)  fun fun FUN!! :D

a random idea for everyone to save money...S. and i read about this in a magazine....i use coupons a lot (no, this isnt the money saving idea necessarily)  so if you do too, try doing this:  whatever money you save by using your coupons, whether its $2 or $20, put THAT money into your savings...it adds up FAST!!  one week i saved $15, last week i saved $11.

one night, S.' ex wife yelled at him because he was explaining to his daughter K. why turkeys make the noises they do...he said that they are making "calls"  so they can get a boyfriend or girlfriend....thats ALL he said but according to the ex wife this is completely inappropriate conversation for a 5 year old.  last wednesday, K. told S. where babies come from (mommies bellies)  and that in a game she was playing on the ex wifes phone, all of the mommies had babies, but there were no daddies because daddies are mean.  WTF!!??  at least S. made his turkeys have signifigant others!!  now the ex wife is already teaching her 5 year old how to be a single mom!!  thats awesome.

the other night after supper, dude turned to me and S. and said, "all done.  i want the wash."  as he was pointing to the bathroom.  i swear to god!!  both our jaws DROPPED.....then we said "alright"  and we washed up.  its kinda crazy that dude will talk in full sentences sometimes. 

im desperately craving an italian from jacks.....and ive been craving them for a loooong time and i think its finally time to give in.

i DO NOT like scary dreams about people breaking into my house.  that sucked.

dude loves the baby doll that we got him :)  he hugs it and says "awe, thats nice"  were going to start using it for potty training purposes. 

time to get goin for the day, because, you guessed it, dude has woken up :)  pancakes for breakfast? yes i think so :) 


this person......

so, although im in an incredibly GOOD mood today :)  i still find myself frustrated and annoyed about some things.....i know that many people out there, would tell me, that on today of all days, to let this stuff go, and focus on my family, so, i figure ill write some stuff down to get it all out.

watching the news last night, we watched a story about how the US government is making dollar coins, using tax payers money of course, costing us $600,00.00 a day....but no one wants these coins, they have not turned into collectors items or anything, because they have obscure presidents on them...like Polk.  soooo, theyve been doing this for so long, that they have ONE BILLION dollar coins innnnnnnnn..... STORAGE!!!!  and congress hasnt gotten around to making the decision to STOP making these coins, so there are more made every single day, and by 2015, there will be TWO billion dollar coins in storage, and oh yeah, they even spent a ridiculous amount of money to build another storage unit for the coins, because there were so many coins.  am i the only one who thinks that this is absolutely friggen ridiculous??

S. and i recently found out that his ex wife will be quitting her job soon, because her daughter is getting jealous that she spends so much time with other kids.  NO SHIT!!!  we told you this would happen MONTHS AGO!!!!  you complain that k. dosnt listen to you anymore.....yet you think that quitting your job to spend time with her will help.  do you want to know WHY this wont help??  because she (the ex wife) has started to apply for other jobs.....with a start date of TWO WEEKS after her other job ends....you think your daughter will start listening to you with two weeks of attention??  didnt you go to school for early childhood development?????   and do you even watch the news? or pay attention to whats going on with our economy?  because im sorry, but it took you how long to get your other job? what makes you think youre going to get another job so soon right now?  way to go.

along with this recent information, i am saddened by the fact that my family is continuously screwed by the NC child support system.  i have always felt that a father should of course support his child, but now seeing it from S.' point of view, and seeing whats happening to our family, i cant believe that the child support system dosnt take our situation more into account.  why should S.' child support payments continuously fluctuate because his ex wife decides to change jobs every 6 months?  why dosnt the child support system take into account OUR family bills?  why is it ok for us to be "struggling" while S.' ex wife and daughter are receiving a ridiculous amount of money?  why is S. required to pay for a PRIVATE Catholic kindergarten for k. when public school is available?  he dosnt even WANT k. going to this school!! he had no part whatsoever in the decision making process even though it is specified in the support agreement that he is supposed to be involved in major decisions!!

now, dont get me wrong, S., dude, and i are comfortable, but things could always be better.  WE have to pay rent.  SHE dosnt because she lives with her grandmother.  WE pay for our sons haircuts, SHE dosnt because the grandmother does.  k. is going to a bunch of different day camps this summer, because the grandmother is paying for them.  we have so many pictures taken of dude, because we won FREE pictures for a year from walmart, the grandmother pays for pictures to be taken of k. on a regular basis.  my question is, where is all of S.' child support money going?  oh right, to fancy dinners a couple nights a week, and for his ex wife to go out on friday nights to see her new boyfriend.  way to go. 

i guess ill let it go right now, because dude has woken up :)  very sweetly i might add, and im all dressed up and ready to go, and waiting on S. to come home from work :)  because today is an awesome day with much in store!!! :D

<3 <3 <3


early morning news.....

maybe not "news", but an update? information that you could LIVE without? LOL

going to kentucky on vacation with S. and dude, and the "in-laws" was sooooo good and awesome and fun!!  we stayed at S.' grandmothers house out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cows and horses and cornfields, and a lot of rabbits.....you might all be wondering HOW this is different from maine? well, the heat...and humidity of course LOL :)  the flight there was incredibly easy, except that we left the house at midnight to get to the airport for our flight on time...dude slept...so did i!!  S. drank rockstars.  dude was so easy the whole flight!  i was surprised, and it made things a LOT easier :)  we landed in louisville aroundddddd 12? 1? and everyone came to pick us up which was cool, it was mine and dudes first time meeting S.' grandmother and shes really sweet and funny :)  and of course MIL picked up dude and carried him the whole way shes missed him so much and hasnt seen him since april last year.  i started sweating as soon as i left the airport.....and didnt stop the whole week LOL but i got used to it!

lets seeeeeee...we ate A LOT A LOT A LOT of wicked good food because grandma j. is an awesome cook, and we alllllll gained um, 5 pounds a piece? more?  we spent a lot of time outside with dude, he loved it there, maybe because he got to run around in his diaper some days LOL :)  he really enjoyed going into grandma j.s flower garden with her to "water" the flowers, meaning the walkways, and himself LOL  he caught a turtle with S., then carried it around, we taught him to only pick the BLACK blackberries, we started to teach him to swim which was REALLY cool :) he LOVED it!!  dude got LOTS of new clothes from his grandparents and some really cool new toys :) he especially loves the john deere tractor set that they got him, he pushes them around alllll over the place :)  i forget HOW MANY ticks i got on me....but it was a lot, and since i had only ever seen ONE tick in my entire life before this trip...well, it was weird!

we did some shopping, went out to dinner one night, went to the mammoth caves which was really cool!  i was a little nervous because i can sometimes get claustrophobic, but S. has been telling me about these caves since we met, and how could i say "no"  when he wanted to go so bad?? yeah, exactly, i CANT LOL!  we had a really good time, dude even loved it :)  and we went to "kentucky down under" which is, you guessed it, australia in kentucky LOL  dude blew kisses at the kangaroo he was petting (which made the ENTIRE crowd say "aawwwwwwweeeeeeeee") and the emu, we saw sheep dogs work, i fed tropical birds and freaked out when they landed on my head and picked at my hair but it was actually wicked funny!!  we went into another cave....which was cool, but dude was wicked cranky which was frustrating, thennnnnn he threw his sippy cup into the huge pool of water at the bottom of the cave.......VERY embarassing.....but the tour guide was understanding about it which was nice...

ummmmm, there was soooooo much more, but ill have to add it later because i know dude is going to wake up soon!  but we all had SUCH a good time and were so happy that we got to see everyone!!  thank you again guys!!  love you!!


this show, "my big fat gypsy wedding" is outrageous and i dont know whether to laugh or to cry...

im pretty sure i WONT have a dress that big at my own wedding LOL

but i AM thinking about hundreds of lanterns in the sky a la "tangled"

i think its disgusting how the commercials for TLC's show, "toddlers and tiaras" uses words like "sexy" in describing these little girls....

i LOVE that song "dark days" byyyyy..what are they called....Francis and the Machine"?? (oh. its "Florence and the Machine"....)

why should i have to be using pimple cream AND anti-wrinkle cream??  i think thats ABSURD!!

i never thought, when i was 17 and got my truck, that id have someone as handsome and cool and funny as my son riding in it :D

harry potter, im so excited, yet sad that our one-sided relationship will end soon *sigh* LOL but im pretty sure S. is excited about it!!