a little background info.....

soooooo...im finding it more and more hilarious that S.' ex wife is continuously blaming ME for all of their problems....and S. is finding this funny too. just so you know, we think its interesting that she has moved from: she is not to blame, S is....to I am the one to blame, and S. and her still get along and have a friendship.  she thinks that I am the one causing fights....um, no.  S. knows how he feels about certain things and he says what he wants about them.

so here is some information for you about mine and S.' relationship and how it began....

S. deployed to iraq in feb. 2008.....a few short weeks later, his (then) wife cheated on him, and SHE told HIM that she wanted a divorce.  (didnt you say that you "supported" him and his military life??  but thats besides the point)  in april, the 23rd to be exact, because thats our anniversary, i found S. on myspace (lol, oh myspace) and i friend requested him because, honestly, i love a man in uniform, and i just wanted to check out some hot pics.  but i started reading his blogs about how the shit hit the fan between him and her, and i told him that i hoped things had worked out, because i hate hate hate the thought of a woman cheating on a man while hes deployed.  he told me what had happened between them, and that they had decided to get a divorce when he got home (obviously it couldnt happen while he was deployed,)  S. and i started talking....all. the. time.  hundreds of emails a day, we started talking on the phone a week later.....on my birthday he sent me a dozen roses....we told each other we were falling in love with each other.  i knew that he wanted nothing to do with his wife, that they had decided to go through with the divorce as soon as he got home.  i knew that they considered themselves "seperated" and she had already started seeing someone else.  S. told me he wanted to take things slow because his last relationship had been so f*cked up, i agreed, i wanted the same thing. but when two people are made for each other, this is a hard thing to follow.  we talked all the time, on the phone, emails, we were good friends, and called each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"  but we were also realistic about the situation knowing that we might hate each other when we finally met in person LOL sean asked me to marry him on may 20, 2008, i of course said yes it was funny, i was at work and so stupidly happy, i couldnt stop smiling! like i said, we knew that we loved each other!!  but again, we knew we had to be realistic about everything.

when S. came home, he came to NY to meet me for the first time, and it truly was love at first sight.  i knew that he had stayed at his (then) wifes house when he got home, i knew that he had completely f*cked with her head and told her he wanted to get back together with her and be a family again.  he did this because of all the shit she had put him through.  messed up? yeah...but she deserved it. S. knew what he had waiting for him in NY, me, who loved him, and he wasnt going to mess that up.  we spent 3 awesome weeks together.  he went back to NC.....i moved down there a few weeks later.  we wanted to be together, that was all there was to it.

S. proposed to me officially oct 31, a ring, the whole nine yards.  of course i accepted...we knew we just had to wait for his divorce to be finalized (they had to be seperated a year before this could happen according to NC law), a few months later, we made the conscious decision to get pregnant.  yes, i said conscious decision.  dude is HIS son, and was not a mistake.  S. did not want to marry me because i was pregnant.  he did not decide to stay with me because i was pregnant. 

a few months later, S. deployed to iraq again, and he and i went through some major shit, it sucked, life sucked, i admit it.  but you know what?  S. and i were grown ups about it, and we worked through our problems!!  thats what you do when you love someone...you dont make a life changing decision (divorce) and then try to change your mind a few months later.....S. and i are still working through shit yes, but we have an awesome relationship, a grown up relationship, we love each other, and we have a great life together, and an awesome family.  he is a loving fiance and a fabulous father.

i am not afraid of anyone or anything ruining mine and S.' and dudes life together.  you know why?  because with what weve been through, we can get through anything.  S. loves me, loves dude, loves our life.  he hates, hates, hates his ex wife, thinks that shes a horrible person, and a horrible mother.  S. is civil on the phone because he knows it will benefit his relationship with his daughter to do so.  S. has thoroughly moved on with his life because he knows that he has an infinately better woman in his life now than he did then, he laughed outright when she begged him last fall to come back to her. 

S.' ex wife seems to think that because he married her as soon as she got pregnant, that he loved her more than he could ever love me.  she thinks that S. is with me because he "thinks" that damien is his son.  first, dude IS his son, any idiot could look at pictures and know that. shes just being stubborn and not admitting it to herself.  second, S. knows i would not cheat on him. third, you obviously dont know S. very well if you think he would stay with someone because he "thinks" the child is his!!!  and fourth......S. and i have now been together, for 3 years and 3 months.  S. and his ex wife were technically married forrrrr....3 years 2 months (?)  and 1 year and 4 months of that....they were seperated!!!  and he was living with me!!  and she was dating multiple guys!!!  S. and i have been engaged practically the entire time of the 3 years weve been together!!  why havent we had the wedding yet??  thats not important....its based on money and the fact that we want to do it ONCE and big :)  what IS important, is that we love each other, we made this decision together, end of story. 

so, for everyone out there, I am not the cause of S. not going back to his ex wife.  S. moved on with his life, and to a better woman, because his (then) wife was a cheater. 

i am not the one causing arguments, you began all of this when you couldnt keep your legs closed for 7 months...hell you didnt even last ONE month.  fess up to what you did.  fess up to the fact that youre the one that f*cked it all up, YOU are the reason that your daughter dosnt have her father around, YOU are the reason that your daughters life is messed up, YOU are the reason that S. and his daughter dont have a good relationship.  stop blaming other people for everything.  start telling your daughter the truth, or else shes just going to hear it from other people as soon as she gets older.  why would you let a 5 year old think that dude is the reason that she dosnt have her father around??  if she was blaming YOU, youd be trying to change her "opinion" wouldnt you??  dude is not at fault, it is your responsibility as a mother to guide your childs opinions.  yes she has the right to form her own, but to let her blame a baby is ridiculous.

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